Greetings and Salutations!
I am Polonius H. Probiscus the Seventeenth, Presiding Head of the
Board of the Directors of the Institute of Animal Haberdashery and
General Fanciness.
I know, it is a big mouthful. That’s what she said.
The Institute of Animal Haberdashery and General Fanciness strives to
be the foremost authority on zoological resplendence. Myself and the
members of the board transverse the globe offering assistance and advice
to the ill or nil-attired.
Believe me, it is not all fashion. I myself am quite political.
Recently I was responsible for drafting the Canine Indecency act, which
would see all dogs required by law to wear some sort of attire. At the
bare minimum a jaunty cap. I ask you, if that’s not progress what is?
I do hope you enjoy your visit here. I’m sure you will find it
insightful and inspiring. And if you don’t, well keep your pie-hole
shut, no one likes a negative Nancy!
Yours in elan and elegance,
Polonius H. Probiscus
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