Clive Gibbon: Urgent Makeover Required

Time to fix up your wardrobe Mr. Gibbon!

Our next makeover candidate was right under my proboscis the whole time! I’m surprised I didn’t sniff him out sooner!

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce Clive Gibbon, Institute Repairman. Frankly I am appalled at the security of this Institute. I mean really! If someone this ill-attired can get past the front door, surely it says something about our standards! I am in the process of inventing a device that detects synthetic fabrics. I dream of having one armed and alarmed at every doorway into this building.

Alas, I am not there yet.

I discovered Clive when I called for someone to unclog the drain in my shower. I was breakfasting when Clive arrived and so was taken by surprise when he emerged from the bathroom.

Obviously I assumed that the hairball had come to life and was hellbent on murder. I drew my pearl-handled pistol and fired willy nilly!

When Clive is finally released from intensive care I will make amends by completely making over his look!

At Home With Bjorn Flugelhorn

Bjorn and Jurmaine kicking back

Ladies and Gentlemen, the first in a series of shots of Bjorn Flugelhorn in his pied a terre in the west wing of Institute Headquarters. The photos, taken by legendary shutterbug Frankenwurtz Lowenstein, are due to appear in next month’s Vogue Living, to coincide with the release of Flugelhorn’s new flick. I love a sneak peek, don’t you?

I must say this particular room has always made me a little uncomfortable. Perhaps it would be better if Bjorn ever got around to clothing his mannequins, rather than simply putting new hats on them.

Laboratory 1A

Laboratory 1 A... where the magic happens.

Not that I could ever tire of introducing the lovely members of the board… Oh who am I kidding? So let’s take a break from that nonsense and stop to admire one of my top 60 rooms at Institute Headquarters: Laboratory 1A. The majesty of science leaves me with a drippy proboscis. Does anyone have a hanky handy?

Institute Headquarters, Undisclosed Location

Institute of Animal Haberdashery and General Fanciness Headquarters

Welcome to Institute Headquarters! Currently floating in an undisclosed location near you! Why the secrecy? Well to keep the rif raf out of course! And also because we have no thingamajig for determining such information.

You see, although the Institute may appear to be firmly planted on an island, it is an illusion. Beneath those rolling grassy hills is actually a giant motor which when revved up will power our headquarters anywhere there is water. This allows us to tend to fashion emergencies from Greenland to Antarctica and everywhere in between (I prefer the in-between, I can't stand a frosty proboscis!).

And that's not all! Along with a motor those hills contain all of the Institute's laboratories and testing centres... be sure to come back soon for a tour!