What a Dik Dik!

Cute -- maybe. Asshole -- definitely.

I was thoroughly enjoying a night out at Nairobi’s newest nightclub sensation Sploosh, when I was accosted by this pompous, preppy, pygmy with an axe to grind. Had a thing or eight to say about my proboscis. And my teeth. And my suit! That my friends was the last straw, I defend Armani with my life.

I lunged across the bar, grabbed an over-sized ice bucket and turned it over on this knee-high numbskull like one might catch a spider. Then I slid a piece of cardboard under the bucket and turned it over to the bouncer to dispose of.

World’s smallest antelope. World’s biggest twit.